You see it all over the internet: the “you’re enough” affirmations designed to help women, and specifically, mothers feel good about themselves.
Am I here to pat you on the back and say the same? No!
Am I here to criticize you and judge you? No!
I’m here to tell you that
You’re not enough. But you are chosen. And that’s how it should be!
Where does this feeling of inadequacy come from?
I can’t speak for others, but I can say from my own experience that I feel inadequate when I compare myself to specific standards. I feel inadequate for my children. For my friends. For my calling.
Why? Because I fail to meet certain standards (the perfect mum who manages to juggle everything and is always attentive, poised, switched-on, organized).
The truth is that I am human. I mess up. I fail.
So I feel inadequate. And I’m right!
Yes. I’m not enough on my own. I’m not perfect. I cannot fulfil my friends’ or my family’s deepest desires and needs.
And it’s the same with you. You’re not enough on your own. You cannot fulfil your child’s deepest longings. Or your friends’ or our family’s. You’re not perfect. (Good news is coming, I promise!)
And the thing is, the people in your life need perfection. Indeed, they were created to need perfection. And they were created to need perfection because they were created to be in a relationship with God.
God alone can fulfil their deepest longings and needs. God alone is enough for them. You are not.
Not enough but chosen
Well, as I said, we’re not enough for our children/spouse/friends because they ultimately need God.
But we are chosen. God chose us to be the mothers of our children. God chose us to be the daughters of our parents. God chose us to be the sisters of our siblings. And the cousins. And the friends.
So while we’re not enough to fill our family’s and friends’ deepest needs for God, we are chosen and designed to suit them and their personalities in the human roles we have as mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, friends.
Like I’ve said several times here on the blog, it’s not by accident that God chose you and only you to be the mother of your child.
But in all this, we also need God’s continuous work in us to help us fulfil our human roles in a God-honouring way, as well as God’s grace when we fail (which will inevitably happen).
The good news, at the end of the day, is that while we fail, God never does, and one of our biggest purposes as mothers is to point our children to their Father who loves them unfailingly and who will never let them down.
Who you really are
So I’ve made the point that we’re not enough on our own because we’re not perfect in and of ourselves, but now let me give you some good news about who we are in Jesus.
This applies to you, momma.
You are accepted – Ephesians 2:18
You are chosen – 1 Peter 2:9
You are redeemed – Ephesians 1:7
You are unique – Psalm 139:13-14
You are a child of God – Galatians 3:26
What do people mean when they say “you’re enough”?
I need to bring some clarification on this because I see people saying this all the time, and in reference to having one’s identity in Jesus.
So they’ll say “you’re enough in Him”, or “you’re enough in Jesus” or something along those lines.
I get what they’re saying because in Jesus we have been made perfect, but I wouldn’t phrase it like that.
You see, using the word “enough” implies need, and the Bible tells us God does not have needs.
But it also says God is holy and we know He can’t be in the presence of sin. And so Jesus’ blood that cleanses us means that we can come into a relationship with God as Father.
So instead of saying “you’re enough”, I prefer to say “You’re a child of God”, “You’re accepted”, “You’re redeemed”, “You’re chosen”, “You’re adopted”.
💓 when I say “you’re not enough” I simply mean that you’re not God and therefore you cannot fulfil a human being’s deepest needs.
💓 when I say “you’re chosen” I mean that God chose you to be His child and to be the mother of your children.
Ultimately we need to know three things in this area about being enough.
🌺 One: who we are because of Jesus – adopted, heir, child of God, redeemed, accepted.
🌺 Two: who we are in ourselves- sinners in need of grace. Not enough to fulfil another human being’s deepest needs because they really need perfection and that only comes from God.
🌺 Three: what our worth is as God’s creations, made in His image and who are chosen and called to be unique mothers, daughters, sisters, friends.
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