This post is going to be huge! I don’t mean in length. I mean in concept.
After all, this is about the very name of my blog, and it’s interesting that my concept about a mum’s uniqueness has actually expanded, ever since I first had the idea.
Ok, ok, I’m getting ahead of myself here.
First: what was it that lead me to start a blog called Unique Mums?
I started this blog with this particular name because I felt God show me one thing.
And that was that in the world of motherhood sometimes there was this concept that there was a perfect way of being a mother, a perfect model as it were and that all mothers should follow that.
Of course, these standards of perfection varied according to the particular ideas of a subset of people.
For instance, some mothers thought to be a good mother it was important for you to follow Montessori ideologies.
Other mothers thought to be a good mother it was important for you to be a stay-at-home, breastfeeding, homeschooling mama. (I thought this myself at one point, in my early days as a mum.)
Others still thought good mothering meant providing an array of extracurricular activities.
Each mum tribe had its own opinion of what a good mother was like, and – though not openly admitting to this – all the mums who did not adhere to these standards were somehow beneath the mums of that particular tribe.
I liked to stick to baby routines, most of the mums I knew didn’t.
I liked reading to my kids from the age of two months, most of the mums I knew didn’t.
I liked having quiet days with my kids, most of the mums I knew didn’t.
So I ended up feeling—and this is nothing to do with the mums whom I compared myself to, but rather the cultural emphasis on “better mums”—that in being different, I was somehow a misfit. I felt like I wasn’t good enough.
After all, the way the majority of mums did things (from my limited perception) must be the right way.
But God stepped in.
Why “Unique Mums”?
God spoke into my life about this and showed me that indeed
🌷 These other mums—the ones I thought belonged to a group—were also unique and called to be unique.
Indeed, there was no “one size fits all” way of mothering. Yes, of course, there were clear principles laid out in the Bible for us to follow. But a lot of parenting approaches were more to do with matters of conscience, personality, and background.
So I felt compelled to create a blog that celebrated “uniqueness” with regard to motherhood.
I felt my heart’s desire was to show other mums—especially those who felt like misfits—that it was ok to be different. It was ok to be unique.
Indeed, it was more than ok. It was a calling!
What is a Unique Mum?
So what exactly does it mean to be a unique mother? Is it related to identity?
Well actually, no! Our identity as children of God is not in our motherhood, but rather it’s in Jesus.
So is it personality?
Yes, and more! All mothers have unique personalities, parenting convictions (conscience), and callings. So, being a unique mum is being true to those.
But being a unique mum is more than that. Simply put, a unique mum is a mother who:
- follows Jesus, not the world
- lives in surrender to Her King, not the surrounding culture
- desires to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus
- understands that God is sanctifying her daily according to His goodness
- does not rely on her own works to achieve perfection, but trusts in the redeeming work of Christ
- knows her identity is not based on her motherhood, but in who she is as a child of God
- understands that God has designed her with a unique personality, calling, and gifting
- does not conform to the patterns of the world, rather she is transformed by the renewal of her mind
- understands her uniqueness is about glorifying God as His image-bearer
So being a unique mum is about being a mother who follows Jesus as a true disciple. It’s about surrendering to Christ and letting God transform us into the mother He wants us to be. Not the mother culture wants us to be.
As CS Lewis says:
“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. (…) It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”
Indeed, God has plans to use us as unique mothers for our unique children as we surrender to Him.
Why is this important?
Ok, Anna, I get you and what you’re saying, but I don’t really see the importance of this—You may be thinking.
I believe this concept of being a unique mother is important because it’s when we give ourselves over to God and let Him work in us, making us the unique creations He intended, that we most glorify Him.
And in understanding our own particular unique personality, calling, and convictions, we become both more secure about ourselves and why God chose us to be the mother of our own unique children, as well as more understanding of those who do things differently.
I believe God’s heart for mothers is not uniformity, rivalry, and man-made perfectionism.
God’s heart for mothers is uniqueness, unity, and God-made perfection.
So let us glorify God in our unique motherhood while becoming more like Jesus and developing the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
God calls each Christ-follower to be unique, to not follow the patterns of the world and to surrender to Him. That includes us as mothers.
The reason why my focus on this blog is unique motherhood is that as a young mum I felt inadequate when I compared myself to other mothers. I felt I had to become the same as the mums I so admired.
But God showed me that I wasn’t to put any other mother on a pedestal. We were all imperfect. Yet, at the same time, we were also unique and chosen for our own particular children.
Indeed, I came to see that instead of comparing myself to others, I needed to surrender more to Jesus and let Him transform me into who He designed me to be all along—unique.
Being a unique mum is important because when we strive to become who God calls us to be—rather than copying others—we glorify God and His creation design.
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